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Bored sea Captain secretly marries crew to one another

A general loss of interest in the day to day duties of his command has recently left Captain James McTaggart indifferent about his life on the high seas, but today McTaggart regained his enthusiasm by using his legal authority to marry his crew members to one another as they slept.

"When two men are eating at the same table and they don't know they are married, that just changes things........ in a good way." Cpt J. McTaggart

McTaggart says he has no plans to tell the crew of their new marital status, but wonders if his new wedding gifts of blenders, dishes and place settings will give it away.

Doyle Redland Reporting, From Onion Radio News

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